Academia is hell on your skin. So now that I’m done with it, I’ve decided to see if $250 worth of Botox can erase the last ten years of teaching. I’m already spending money I don’t have on moving-related expenses. After today’s vet appointment ($300 on my beloved cat) I figure it’s time to spend some money on me.
I feel a little bad. I know all about truth and inner beauty and all that. (Look, I’ve read Plato in the original Greek. I don’t need a lecture on this.) But the fact remains that teaching etches a single angry line in the middle of my brows, and in the last few months it’s become a permanent fixture — even when I’m not in a classroom. Aw, hells no!
And as much as I love Plato, I also love What Not to Wear. I know people judge you by how you look, and I don’t feel like this line expresses who I am. It expresses who I was when I was a professor– namely, a rather unhappy individual. But now that I’m done, I don’t want to look angry when I’m not. If I’m gonna get wrinkles they’re going to be laugh lines, dammit.
The RNC is chipper (“Wow, what short little corrugators you have!”) and comes highly recommended. It takes all of a minute, and we’re done. It doesn’t hurt all that much, either.
Then I faint in the waiting room. Way to start my new life on a dignified note. Luckily, I felt it coming so I sat down in a chair. And the receptionist is very nice and brings me an assortment of snacks, because neither she nor the RNC seem to believe me when I tell them I did too eat breakfast.
Anyway, that was an adventure. It’s supposed to take a few days to see results. I’ll keep everyone posted.