You know what I can’t figure out? How is it that all these stupid, Neanderthal, Mafia guys can be so good at crime and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it?
– Michael Bolton, Office Space
As part of my career transition, I’ve been doing some training in SEO. That’s search engine optimization (translation: “Og make search engines find site”). It’s basically a form of unpaid advertising, which is good. Except that it’s kind of evil.
In the first place, it’s the opposite of writing because you don’t get to pick the words you use; Google tells you what words to use and by God you’d better use them if you want to be found.
SEO is also the opposite of editing. The idea is to get “effective keyword phrases” all over your site — and I’m sure we’ve all seen pages that stuff keywords clumsily into their copy. A skillful copywriter can do better than that, but keyword-laced copy will never be “good” on aesthetic grounds because it’s got be repetitious and wordy. (And yes, as a Platonist, I do believe that there is such a thing as beautifully written copy. You’re just not going to get it this way).
Hobbes, Locke, and now HAL.
It gets worse when you confront SEO fundamentalists, people who really do think that search engines have the greater good in mind. “They’re there to find the best links for their customers,” they say, sternly warning you not to “game” or “trick” the system. Or perhaps I should say The System?
Yes, when you “trick” The System, it gets very angry. Or maybe search engines are natural entities — that’s why rankings you don’t pay for are “organic” — and tricking them is against some sort of divine law. Never mind that search algorithms are designed by people — well, computer geeks intent on building a brave new world.
Ironic, though, because matter how you dice it search engines are always going to be popularity contests. Quantity of people visiting = quality. It’s interesting only in that most advertising tries to tell people what they want; this method theoretically lets people tell you what they want. Except that when a site gets a critical mass of popularity Google starts telling you what to think again.
Anyway, all of this reminds of the quote from Office Space above. Why aren’t smart people good at crime? The same reason they’re not good at advertising — whiny moral objections. They can’t accept that life is a popularity contest. They are foolish enough to argue with Google, American Idol, and Oprah, making ridiculous claims about determining worth individually or something.
Not me, though. I’m going for it.
“IRONY INDEED” UPDATE, later that same day: Well, at least there’s a non-fundamentalist SEO community to be found. I just read a refreshingly snarky industry post on why “search engines are good” is a lie, and it looks like I’ll be attending a talk on responsible online marketing tomorrow. Serves me right for ranting, I suppose.
FURTHER UPDATE: Good news is that the SEOs I met were all lovely, kind, and decent people, with their clients’ best interests at heard. The bad news? This very altruism might prevent them from seeing that search engines are indeed part of a greedy capitalist endeavor.
Ha. Yes. I used to do a lot of web programming freelance work. Google can make all your dreams come true, but only if you tailor them exactly to what Google wants them to appear like. It is also why I don’t really use Google unless I want to find a specific fact….I don’t like websites that exist to use keywords instead of to provide well-written content. I also feel that long-term success online, whether as a business or infopreneur, will come from playing the long game of creating great content without regard to search engines. It takes longer, but you are writing for humans, not algorithms.
Hmm, I suppose you’re right, the ability to keep producing new and interesting stuff is what impresses humans — we hope — but it’s really a tortoise and hare kind of thing. And given that we’re not allowing people to decide, it’s not like there’s a better method. Kind of like democracy.
if you figure this SEO stuff out, please let me know. right now I’m #2 if you search “Vietnamese pork pho” but that is really not generating the kind of traffic I’m looking for
It’s actually not too hard once you get the hang of it. I’ve gone to several different seminars etc. but the best thing I’ve done is this video tutorial at lynda.com. (Note: I’m not being paid to say this.) It’s 2.5 hours and if you buy the monthly membership it’s $25; they’ve also got a Social Media Marketing tutorial, though I haven’t done it yet.
Amen sister! No, really, I read none of what you wrote, and I’m just commenting on the title, and oh yea you’re cute (sisters+cute, wait what?).
Navigated to by googling images of hal.
It’s all just capitalistic whoring, m’dear.
Cheers.
Thanks for the abstract expressionist response.