The people have spoken and the winner of the Best Bogus Teacher Poll is posted on the Facebook page.
But I also promised you my own list. As I’ve mentioned several times, I get really sick of teacher-martyr movies shaping everyone’s idea of what “good” teachers look like — yes, it’s totally awesome how Robin Williams made his students his entire life in that movie that one time, but that doesn’t mean you should expect real people to do it on a regular basis.
Here are my favorite fictional educators, along with the twisted lessons they’ve taught me over the years. I dedicate it to all the real-life teachers starting school in the next few weeks. And of course, feel free to add your own fictional inspirations or runners-up!
#10 Taj Badalandabad
Van Wilder Two: The Rise of Taj
Who wouldn't want a teacher as dishy as Kal Penn?
LESSON LEARNED: Sometimes you need to get out of the classroom and employ a little creative learning if you want to make your subject relevant.
RUNNERS-UP: His supervisor Charlotte, who grudgingly converts to his unorthodox methods; all the self-teaching students in Accepted.
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#9: Dr. Diane Turner
Back to School
Yeah, Rodney Dangerfield's not so sexy, but who can forget Dr. Turner's hot-hot-hot reading of James Joyce?
LESSON LEARNED: Smart is sexy.
RUNNERS-UP: Professor Seven from Community, Mrs. Lockhart from Family Guy.
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#8: Severus Snape
Harry Potter
Snape does his stuff.
LESSON LEARNED: Sarcasm works.
RUNNER-UP: Mr. Hand in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
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#7: Nicole Horner
Diabolique (1955)
Talk about killer fashion sense: Mme. Horner conspires with the schoolmaster's wife to kill him, and looks great doing it.
LESSON LEARNED: Sometimes your students need to think you’d kill them without batting an eyelash.
RUNNER-UP: Mrs. Tingle from Teaching Mrs. Tingle.
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#6: Señor Chang
Community
This actually is the least wacky thing he's done...
LESSON LEARNED: If you don’t make the students amuse you, they think you’re there to amuse them. As if.
RUNNER-UP: Señor Chang’s colleague, Dr. Ian Duncan, who torments his students with psychology “experiments.”
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#5: Miles
Sideways
Jack to Miles: "They should be reading what you wrote!"
LESSON LEARNED: Some teachers try to do and get shot down. That’s why they drink so much.
RUNNERS-UP: Professor Dave Jennings in Animal House, Frank Bryant in Educating Rita, Edna Krabappel in The Simpsons. Also, PostAcademic’s running tally of Alcoholic Horndog Tenured Professor Stereotypes.
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#4: Professor Stromwell
Legally Blonde
Scary but stylish.
LESSON LEARNED: Unlike those flaky Kumbayah types, “scary” teachers will often come through for you when you really need it.
RUNNER-UP: Van Wilder’s Econ prof in the original Van Wilder.
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#3: Jean Brodie
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Before playing Minerva McGonagall, magnificent Maggie Smith played Jean Brodie, a teacher who refused to get married and inspired fanatical devotion in her students. Those were the days...
LESSON LEARNED: Fascism has its place in a classroom — this isn’t a freaking democracy, people.
RUNNER-UP: Pai Mei in Kill Bill.
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#2: Prof. George Falconer
A Single Man
Probably more common than you think.
LESSON LEARNED: Students don’t know it, but your in-class nervous breakdown is always one life crisis away. Surprisingly, though, this often underlies remarkable teaching moments.
RUNNER-UP: Lewis Black in Accepted. That guy’s always having a breakdown of some sort, but it imparts an important life lesson.
RU
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#1: Dewey Finn
School of Rock
Anyone who cares enough about rock 'n' roll to make that chart? Okay by me.
LESSON LEARNED: It’s more important to care about your subject than your students. The latter will likely follow the former, whether you like it or not.
Fabulous list! So glad you included Dewey…yes, the chart, and that pointer, too! Rock on~
Thanks!
Senor Chang … Second Lesson Learned: Even if you teach your Spanish students Klingon, who cares? It’s all about the authority you project!
I want that show to ditch all the students (Okay, keep Abed) and just make a spinoff devoted to him.
I know, he’s totally what sucked me into the show. I think he’s the ultimate wish-fulfillment for frustrated teachers. But yes, he’s a good illustration of the “authority” paradox, and a show with him and Abed would be AWESOME!
Man, I don’t think I knew half of those “teachers” before I read this list. Well, some of the runners up, but not many of the winners.
Regardless, I think I agree.
Thanks, I tried! And of course it goes without saying that all of the movies/shows on the list are the result of my having impeccable taste, so they’re worth checking out
Great list! Mr. Hand needed to be in there, but I can live with that.
You can just mentally switch Mr. Hand from the runner-up position. I admit I’m partial to him as well, but the people have spoken.
A very nice list, indeed, though I bet you could make a list of the Harry Potter professors and the lessons learned from each. It’s giving me a bit of a giggle, thinking of Professor Flitwick and company!
On a side note, as a recent graduate, I wonder when they’ll make a movie about grad students and/or TA’s in the humanities who read, work, teach, sleep around, and try to drink themselves to death. Hmm…
Hey, why not write the list? Or the book that could spawn the movie? I admit that my friends and I kind of started one in grad school…heheh, maybe it’s time to pull it out and really go for revenge.
Yay Snape!!!
Yay indeed!
Dewey Finn is exactly my dream of the perfect teacher. I hope that if I ever get a chance to teach (once I earn all the money I need to live on, because teaching doesn’t pay peanuts) that I’ll be as awesome as he is.
Smart plan. I think it’s better to teach later in life, anyway, when age has given you some natural authority.
Transformers 2 is pure dogshit, but, Rain Wilson’s performance as Professor Colan captured the essence of what every major university professor would like you to think of them.
I didn’t see it, but now I need to see Rainn Wilson playing in a prof. That sounds pretty funny!
At the risk of sounding crass, FUCKING BRILLIANT! I may have to repost
Not crass at all, and at the risk of sounding vain, I’m quite pleased with the list myself. Re-post away, and former teachers of North(?) America unite!!!
I certainly would quite have liked to have Dewey Finn as teacher back in the day – P.E. could have been replaced with lessons on perfecting your air guitar
Miles would have to be my first choice though. Or Snape…purely because of his cape.
I do love Miles, and Paul Giamatti did just a stellar job portraying the desperation of a sad teacher. Snape’s cape is pretty rocking, though.
I adore Paul Giamatti in almost every role, but particularly as Miles and as Harvey Pekar.
I would have loved to have had Alan Rickman teaching me English literature – He could have acted out Beckett scenes like he did in “Play”, combined with a few lines from Die Hard. I bet that’s what atheist heaven is like.