Worst Professor Ever

Note: I was going to cover learning on the job, and I still will, but this topic pertains much more to what I’m actually doing right now.

In addition to being an introvert who is comfortable speaking in public (take that Myers-Briggs!) I am also a serious misanthrope. (Honestly, after teaching for ten years, I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t be. Though now Dr. $hiraz delights in telling me I’m “failing Misanthropy 101″ if I mention that I like anyone — such a comedian.)

What I mean by “misanthrope” is that I do not approach the seething mass of humanity expecting that each social interaction will bring an exciting new person into my life. Instead, I wonder what novel way they’ll find to be annoying, unreliable, or petty.

On the other hand, I get bored very easily. And no man is an island. And (most importantly) you need to network your butt off if you’re trying to transition into a new career. So it’s crucial that you do it, even if you’re an introvert, misanthrope, or just really tired.

Here are some things I’ve done that have led to meeting interesting people, a far more palatable goal than “networking” if you’re a misanthrope.

1) Informational Interview

A classic strategy for job hunters, this approach takes away one of the most panic-inducing elements of meeting people: feeling like you’ve got to have a reason to go up to them. You already have a reason to contact anyone on the planet — you need information — so it could be a lion tamer, a nuclear power plant inspector, a stripper…whatever your little heart desires. All you do is send them an email saying you’re totally interested in getting into their field and would they have a moment to speak to you about it? If they say yes, you’ll actually have to speak to them, of course, but that’s a hump we all have to get over at some point.

For better advice on this matter, check out the About.com page on informational interviews.

2) Network Roulette

This is like speed dating (20 people in 60 minutes) except instead of looking for a love connection, you’re networking. Basically, it strips the situation of all pretense, which I appreciate. Networking is a shadowy mix of personal/business and I often end up wondering,  So are we trying to be friends or create a business network or just coldly and greedily looking for what we can get from each other or what? (This, by the way, is a “chick” thing that women need to get over if they want to become power players.)

I did this just last night, in an online format, at the Brazen Careerist site. It was pretty fun, possibly because I was doing it in my party dress, having just come from cocktails. Before jumping into the roulette, everybody wrote what they were looking for and what they were offering. Furthermore, the instructions clearly demarcate that you’re looking to see what you can do for each other. Well-defined social contract, hallelujah!

Doing things via online chat is quite a relief if you’re an introvert or a smartass — you can make all the faces you want at the computer screen. Interestingly, it’s just the same as networking in person in that there are still people who are socially awkward, who will take one look at you and “leave the room” (smooth), or who can’t see the value of networking beyond their own fields (tres limited).

3) Random Fan Email

Okay, not random, precisely, but one of things I’ve started to do in the last few years is send emails to anyone and everyone whose work interests me. This includes journalists, scholars, comedians, you name it. I’ll just drop them a line to say I really like what they have to say, or even on occasion to disagree — politely – and bring up some of my own knowledge on a given subject. If they write back, we often get a conversation going, and I’ll suggest that we meet in person at some point. (I’m old school this way: you can’t make a real connection unless it’s in person.)

Now, some people will totally blow you off. But that happens in any social situation. The sooner you develop a thick skin, the happier you’ll be in life. And the people who have responded have often turned out to have similar interests to mine, and I’ve had some very cool and inspiring conversations as a result.

I’ve also done this in person, politely accosting people and trying to get them to talk about humor theory. But that’s a lot harder, and is driven by my hopeless devotion to analyzing jokes. I don’t recommend you do it unless you’re just as crazy about your own subject.

4) Nepotism

Asking your Aunt Myrna to introduce you is probably the easiest way to meet people. But unless her second cousin’s college roommate went to grade school with Warren Buffet, it’s never going to be enough. So you may as well do a little hustling of your own.