Worst Professor Ever

Today I’m pleased to have Clay Morgan, sole proprieter of EduClaytion, as my guest blogger. Clay writes (his work has been featured in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) and teaches history, government, and politics. I’ve never met him in person, but having had several e-conversations we’ve found we agree on most aspects of teaching, particularly the need to merge pop culture with highfalutin’ ideas. Also, between his love of sports and willingness to teach the Constitution on Saturdays, I’m pretty sure Clay is a better American than I am, so you should probably listen to him. Or at least follow him on Twitter.

I clearly remember spending day after day during the summer of 2002 in the university library surrounded by legal texts.  My laptop screen glowed on my face so long that year I could practically feel the words of my master’s thesis crawling across my face.

My defense was in August, so those beautiful summer days went on without me.  The architects of that building had been especially cruel when they constructed walls with hundreds of windows.  Fun-loving young people paraded along the campus sidewalks to nowhere in particular while I deconstructed 60-year-old Supreme Court decisions.

But I was focused.  I had a plan and that was something because I’ve never been much of a planner.  I would finish the thesis, grab my Master of Arts in Social Science and wind up in Washington D.C. at one of three think tanks to which I had been sending feelers that year.  Or something like that.

One day, Dr H. came up to me and suggested I continue on for a PhD.  Perhaps I could get a free ride at Pitt or Carnegie Mellon?  At that point I was cooked mentally on the idea of more years of research in another library just to get another piece of paper that would allow me to have the title of doctor before my name.  No thanks, I said.

As it so often does, life interrupted my dimly lit path to the future shortly after I finished up the program.  By 2003, I found myself in Pittsburgh, PA with a seemingly irrelevant degree that got packed away somewhere beneath my childhood comic collection.  The job carousel continued.

My personality and skills were the tools I wielded in that uncertain time.  I eventually landed some gigs as a writer and even managed a six month contract as a consultant but wound up back at square one when the work dried up.  I was barely hanging on by late 2005.  The final gut punch came one night when I learned that an old college rival had landed a sweet, high profile gig in the city.

I went to bed that night defeated and desperate.

Now, I don’t know if you believe in a higher power or not, and I’m not sure how you strategize the next part.  I laid in the dark throwing up prayers like George Bailey on that bridge in It’s A Wonderful Life.

The next morning, I received a phone call that essentially boiled down to “Hey, how would you like to teach a course at the community college in Pittsburgh?”  Enough people knew about me that I got my chance.  Yes, I had a personal connection.

I’ve been as steadily employed as an adjunct can be for five years now.  I’m grateful for friends who keep the work coming, although the college is getting a great deal on me.

I’m not holding my breath for full-time faculty anytime soon.  The nature of university politics and madness of education administrators demands a thorough beat down of common sense and effective leadership.  Please don’t read that as sour grapes, just the shape of the beast and a primary reason I couldn’t stomach the thought of another degree.  I may find the system distasteful, but I was born to be in the classroom and really do love working with students.  This adoration may not last forever but for now my passion is teaching.

Of course, making money is nice too.  I recently picked up more teaching work for the University of Phoenix at their on-site campuses in Pittsburgh.  Maybe I’ll pick up tons of work with them.  Maybe I’ll be out of teaching in a year.  All I can control is who I am and what I can do.

I continued to bounce around the idea of a doctoral program until this past year or so.  I’m at peace with never getting that PhD.  I would much rather spend those years writing and speaking about stuff I enjoy.  I believe I’ll get published from that work and maybe even produce some successful titles.  If all else fails I can always become a PowerPoint consultant or something.  (I again refer you to my planning abilities.)

Have I regretted the decision?  No.  My life would’ve been a lot different had I tried to go straight into a PhD program.  Maybe I could have sailed into a sweet tenure track gig somewhere.  Of course, I might have been miserable doing what it took to get that stinking piece of paper.  I also don’t think I’ve been engineered to run on that track.

The path I stumbled down held plenty of obstacles, but I also discovered some special opportunities.  The writing experience I gained along the way continues to help me in a variety of ways.  After all, there are millions of writers out there who would love to get paid.  I found my way into a few paying spots and picked up invaluable editing experience.  I would’ve missed those chances had I stayed in the academy.

I’m glad I sacrificed that summer in the library to get the degree that has opened all the doors I’ve needed to get behind.  I’m equally satisfied that I didn’t spend another decade going after the doctor title.  I think my students would take me over most PhDs anyway.

~*~*~*~

There’s no magic formula to figuring it all out.  The best laid plans have turned into a sizeable trash heap throughout history.  Set goals but be flexible.  Follow your passions and don’t try planning the rest of your life.

If that doesn’t help just try these four simple steps to a successful career and ultimate life fulfillment!*

1. Know yourself.  Identify thine skills.  Market accordingly.

2. Understand potential connections between money & misery in line with your plan.

3. Get yourself out there.  Be known.

4. Supplicate.  Maybe you’ll get a deus ex machina phone call.

[Ed. note: don't forget the libations!]

*Results not guaranteed but if it works out for you let’s have lunch.

Tags: clay morgan, government, leaving grad school, politics, teaching