A couple of years ago, one of my coolest students (Classics/science double major) came to my office wanting to talk about grad school. I was fully prepared to give my usual ‘just don’t go’ speech (nicked from William Pannapacker) but the clever kid stopped me in my tracks, telling me a) they were doing the science thing and b) they were looking at these newfangled dual PhD/MBA programs.
My jaw was still slack when the kid continued, telling me that they ‘wanted to make changes in the way things were done, and that couldn’t happen from the inside.’ (Hear that, everyone who’s debating staying or leaving to effect change in a broken system? I fully expect to see the word ‘Nobel’ next to this kid’s name someday, so you should probably listen to them.)
Newsflash: most MBA's don't look like this. Though it would be supercool to have the Rolling Stones as your personal soundtrack.
I’ve already confessed that I am a reluctant capitalist; I certainly don’t think profit margins should be primary basis for ethical decisions. I think it’s ridiculous that the average MBA’s salary is close to six figures given that a PhD in anything will have more actual experience from managing classrooms, people and projects.
Then again, it’s becoming more and more apparent that any advanced degree is a futile exercise in putting off the real world. It wasn’t big news to me that many lawyers are now screwed by their debt (Awww, did the poor widdle law student not understand oversupply? Welcome to my world…but hey, at least my debt isn’t in the hundreds of thousands hahahahaha.) And MBA programs are in a similar boat, selling their product to far too many people, so the bubble will probably burst on that soon.
But the fact remains that for now MBA’s can demand a lot of money for what they do. So an PhD/MBA program is one of the few ways I’d recommend anyone go to grad school, because at least they might reasonably expect a decent salary at the end of it. And now that I’m thinking dissertations are useless (why not just write the damned book, already?), maybe those last two years should be spent working on management skills, or communicating with normal people — you know, those wacky ‘business’ things we’ve all heard of.
An older model of MBA, coming back around. I mean, these new MBA's are what, twelve?
I’m currently making contacts in the nebulous world of business and entrepreneurship and believe me, their lingo is no more or less ridiculous than the lingo of my former profession. (Granted, I worked in a field that regularly and unashamedly used the word ‘metatheater’.) ‘Leverage’ is my least favorite business word, being both overused and double-speak (‘It just means you don’t actually have any money!’ whispered one business person). ‘Monetize’ is my favorite, as it indicates quite blatantly that you’re trying to make money off of something — and that’s totally okay. It is, in fact, the point.
Also, the names may change but the skills are the same. Project management, which has just been tagged as a ‘growing field’ is one of those things that any educator is probably doing already. As is being organized, doing research, etc.
So for those considering leaving, I’m here to tell you that if you can get over the knee-jerk reaction, the world of business might have something to offer. Sure, there are MBA blowhards who think their piece of paper means they’re awesomer than you — but, speaking of things you’re already doing, don’t you have a strategy for dealing with that?? If not, here’s a classic from the Kids in the Hall:
Double-degree programs are just really awesome all around. Usually no more or maybe a year’s more time in school, but leaving with that much more possibility in or out of education. In math, for example, there are a number of schools offering five-year BA (in math) MA (in engineering) programs. I don’t understand why more students don’t take that route — I mean, not that pure math isn’t a fascinating field, but if theory doesn’t pan out, having spending an extra year to get a degree leading to non-teaching jobs is fairly nifty.
One of my biggest regrets about my grad school path was not doing the double master’s in English and library science I had the chance to do. It would have been a maximum of one extra year, but my stupid goal was to be an English prof. I thought that extra year would have been a waste of all kinds of time I didn’t have to waste. I was ready to race right on through the PhD. Eight years later, that was just, well, just a stupid decision.
“Hey, there’s a lot of buzz that you’re hot even though you’re just starting out!”
WoPro, you will always remain close to my culture-addled heart since you continue to drop knowledge while making references to The Secret of My Success and KITH. Brilliant!
Just out of curiosity: what sciencey field was the PhD half of the MBA/PhD in?
See personal communication; wouldn’t want to say too much lest former students suffer for my sins.
http://junipercollege.gloriousrobot.com/
u must watch these episodes; really portrays the maelstrom and plight of academics
Not bad, thanks for the link. Though I’d replace ‘plight’ with stupidity…which the episode showed very nicely.
Sensible idea but I think that if you decide to one of these you should think carefully about the combo. I like the clip from Kids in the Hall – what a classic about networking! I love the example of a business merger..he he..and bit about the business card. The entire business card bit reminded me of what happened when they were introduced to the grad students by my department and we were told that we had to use them at conferences.
I had a hard time deciding between KITH clips, as their ‘business’ mockery is some of their finest work!
I not only loved this post, I snorted audibly and then read it aloud to someone else. Right on you are, WoPro.
And, by the way, it’s no shame that you missed the absolute fucking freak show that the APA was last week, once again this year. All that drinking, so little fucking, as more than person casually observed at the bar. And that’s only the beginning. I ought to file a dispatch from the front. The meeting still hasn’t hit the irony stage, which explains how I managed to get trapped in an elevator one afternoon with some old fart who spent the whole way down explaining to his ladyfriend how he’d holed up in his hotel room for the past two days studying papyrus readings of an obscure Greek orator. She was fascinated. Then there was the guy who trapped me at 2:00 a.m. when I was requesting toiletries at the front desk so he could tell me all about the paper he was going to give the next day–how cool! And why only just today I received an email from a fellow conferencegoer who felt the need to write and point out what a prick I am for failing to agree with his objection to my argument during a panel we were both at. I still need to be schooled, y’see, because I’m all wet behind the ears and haven’t learned the proper respect.
Ah, the real world… I may join you someday.
The real world is glorious, the people are normal and everything else you’ve heard!!
Thanks for the report. You know, someone had suggested I get some underground ‘gonzo’ coverage on the APA, which you’re already started. Maybe next year we can have a whole team on the ground…
Good for your student. An MBA sounds like a good plan. I’m just worried that the MBA bubble will burst sooner rather than later. The only remedy I have for the problem is, as always, go to the best school you possibly can.
MBAs themselves also say that nothing beats experience. Sometimes, just diving into a job in the Hamster World can be an education in its own right.
Great point about dissertations, by the way. Yeah, just write the book. Professors and readers always say “read more, read this, read what I like,” but what they are really doing is hamstringing the student’s inner editor. At some point, ya gotta stop reading and start writing.