Full disclosure: I don’t have any brilliant ideas for today. I’m kinda wiped out, because it’s %$#@! networking season again. That’s one reason I did SXSW, and yes, I did try to meet as many people as possible, and now I’m following up with several of them, and it’s exhausting.
So here’s more advice you didn’t ask for, namely, how to set networking goals. Having a specific task at hand makes me feel less at sea in conference environments. Though it also ups the ante — after all, having goals means it’s more obvious when you failed at them. But, as I’ve written before, failure is a part of success and persistence is more important than positivity. Also, if networking is difficult for you, I fully support making communication itself a goal, rather than only checking off a box if you score a followup with some highly placed individual.
Every time I’m in a networking situation, I have this list of items in mind and require myself to perform at least one (1) networking goal per session or talk or sock hop.
1) Talk to the speaker
This is pretty easy, especially if the speaker was good — that way, you can go up and tell them how much you enjoyed their talk. The conversation may or may not lead anywhere, but fortunately, that is not the goal. Getting motivated to talk to someone is.
2) Talk to an audience member who asked a good question
Sometimes the speaker isn’t the person who sparks my interest. At the Austin Film Festival, for example, a woman in the audience asked a really interesting question, so I made a point to approach her and tell her that. We had a good five-minute conversation because of this.
3) Give your card to someone and/or get someone’s card.
This is a separate goal from just telling someone you like their work, and it’s more likely to lead to something useful.
4) Talk to someone random (especially if it’s a cute guy or gal).
If you attend events solo, working the room is the hardest part. But if you just walk up to people and act friendly it usually works — and this is especially true outside of academia. At this time of year, it’s as easy as just asking them about their ‘bracket’.
Okay, approaching hotties is not technically a networking goal but if you’re getting yourself psyched up to talk to strangers, you might as well improve your social life.
For example, When Dr. $hiraz and I were at the Rally to Restore Sanity she ran to the bathroom at a Starbucks while I stood there looking like a twit (viz. holding my gigantic sign and waiting for her latte). There happened to be a cute guy in line, so I promised myself I would talk to him; he was ahead of me and as he was about to leave, I asked him if he lived in this neighborhood. He didn’t, but asked what I was looking for (smiling works, see?). “Beer?” was my charming reply. He gave me several suggestions, and I’d like to think that, had I felt like, the conversation could have gone further. But getting a date wasn’t an option anyway (we were about to leave town) so the goal was simply to communicate.
5) Arrange a follow-up
This is usually done via email, but you might as well throw the idea out there while you’re exchanging cards.
And last but not least:
6) Keep talking to your real friends
Networking is about creating ‘weak links’ with many people you probably like just fine, but these are not friendships. So not only is having real friends good networking advice (friends will probably want to help you) but it’s a good reminder that networking is not the same as having a soul-deep connection with the people you really love.
I don’t mind networking, especially at a place like SXSW, although I would probably get intimidated, psych myself up, and end up sounding like the worst kind of star-struck wanna-be groupie. Plus, I guess, I always fear that I sound like I’m smoozing or glad-handling, rather than authentically networking.
Having said that, I am once again envious of the many networking opportunities that are present in your neck of the woods. I am, literally, in the woods, so the opportunities don’t come easily or often, especially when two very young kids are in tow. I guess I’m grateful for the Social Network, because otherwise, I’d be stuck talking to myself (moreso than I already do!).
Yeah, I don’t like the schmoozing thing either, though I think it bites me in the ass because when I do give someone a genuine compliment I’m out of practice so it’s not suave, and they think I’m glad-handing.
It’s true that moving to Austin has provided many more opportunities — though being online really does help, doesn’t it?
I do enjoy meeting people at functions like that. I’m retooling my approach line after this post has got me thinking.
“Hi, my name is Clay Morgan. I thought you really made some super points just then and would like to commend you on being so terrific. I also find you mildly-amazingly attractive and would like to commend you on your hotness. Would you like to arrange a random follow up in which you could also meet and talk to some of my real friends?”
I know you’re busy and tired but I would appreciate a critique of my new elevator pitch approach technique. That’s a thing, right?
That’s definitely a thing…all I’d say is you’ll have to commit on the “mildly-amazingly” point. Waffling isn’t a good thing in pick up lines or elevator pitches.
Don’t forget the corollary to #2: ask a good question from the audience yourself!
And with that, having, um, just tried to do this and gotten nervous in the middle of it because I was given a microphone: write down the question first so that you can read it off and sound all polished.
Well, if you’re speaking in public, I figure you’ve probably progressed beyond the fear to some degree? But re: the writing things down, I’ve heard more and more business people tell me that writing stuff down beforehand (whether it be goals, or points, or whatever) is the way to go. I need to try more of tha myself.
Too bad I didn’t read this before I went off to San Francisco for the beer conference. I have NO idea what to do at those things (I was a speaker at a session, so that part I could manage). But now, thanks to you, I do. So: should I ever find myself at another conference (please, god, NO! NOOOOO!), I’ll know what to do.
Being a speaker helps; I think it’s much more likely people will come to you! But glad to help.