Seeing Tina Fey’s month-long bestseller reign made me an optimist for I think a whole millisecond maybe. I loved it, obviously, and I am totally serious when I say that if I ever teach a class in Management (wouldn’t that be fun?) this will be the only textbook we will use.
It’s my favorite kind of funny, namely Truth With Jokes. Fey tells the truth about how much it sucks to be a mom (sometimes) and how great it is to work (sometimes) but why she wouldn’t give up either – except that she wants to spend time with her kids, but she also feels compelled to stay in the business long enough to make sure there are more women in it. (I always appreciate people who understand that “choice” is rarely a black/white concept.)
Coming soon to a classroom near you…
Bossypants is also a working guide to fourth-wave feminism. Yeah, that’s right, I’m calling a new wave, right here right now. The latest wave, by the way, is smart enough to realize that getting angry doesn’t work, and that endless wanking about what it means to be which wave just turns people off, and that making jokes really is the only way to avoid choosing between being liked and respected (cf. Elena Kagan).
Regarding the “women aren’t funny” brigade, Fey says,”I don’t like Chinese food but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.” (A beautifully Zen joke, and the correct response to faux-empiricists on any front.)
And she has perfectly actionable advice for women trying to get ahead:
When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do? If the answer is no, ignore it and move on…don’t waste your time trying to educate or change opinions.
Yes, indeed, and I say that as a former educator. I wish I could have assigned the book to all the “OMG” feminists in my gender classes. (“OMG” feminism is when people think the definition of feminism is making indignantly upset observations about the world, without doing anything else.)
But humor isn’t a just mechanism to defuse tense situations. This well-aimed jab, in the last chapter, really made me happy:
I have a suspicion — and hear me out, ’cause this is a rough one — I have a suspicion that the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.
So here’s what I learned from Tina Fey and her writing: it’s not just about picking your battles, it’s about timing your punches. Choosing your words. The beauty of Fey’s prose (apart from its funniness) is that she knows exactly when to use the words “fuck”, “cunt”, and “feminism.” Not too much, or they lose their impact. Not too little, because then you’re just letting people scare you. Just like life, it’s difficult to balance, and it’s an issue I often have with my own writing.
But now I have a role model. And not just ’cause she hangs out with Alec Baldwin.
“I have a suspicion that the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”
We encourage women to think their power lies within their attractiveness to others. This actually robs a woman of power, as others merely have to cease to finding her attractive to cut off her influence. Tina Fey’s success derives from her use of her smarts, voice and action. This makes her an awesome role model for all of us.
I dunno, Anonymous, you sound suspiciously like the kind of person who gets pissed off when a woman wants to look attractive — see my latest post. And Tina Fey is attractive, very much so, though it’s true that she doesn’t choose to emphasize that. And frankly, I’m pretty sure that’s one reason she’s been so successful. Why does anyone have to choose?
I don’t think we disagree, based on reading your recent post. Tina Fey is obviously gorgeous, a requirement for women in show business. But she would not be successful if she did not use her brain. Women in other lines of work are expected to be attractive, but not too attractive and DEFINITELY not sexy. But I still maintain that pop culture tells women that their power is a function of how attractive people find them, and that for most women, this is a poor long term strategy. If your power derives from other people’s perception of your beauty, if you don’t in addition harness your intelligence and make it work for you, you will have little power in the long run.
In defense of the “OMG”-ers, sometimes getting angry is a good thing, as long as it is productive. (And finding new things to get mad at without solving the problem that you are mad at in the first place doesn’t count.) Now I actually need to buy the book so I can absorb those good ideas …
I disagree with you Caroline, for very depressing reasons: angry women are perceived with the most negativity — even being “emotional” and sad is taken better. So while I agree that getting angry is a great motivator, women really do have to watch their public performance. It’s not fair, but you’ve gotta with reality here. Also, the OMG-ers are often not even genuinely angry, they’re whinily indignant in the way that you get when you don’t see the topic’s relevance to your own life.
Looks like an interesting book, but I have to disagree with her test for when to kick up a fuss about an -ism. By this token, I, as a white woman, should never waste my energy protesting and taking action against racism where I see it. And what about when someone’s sexism gives me a pass, but gets in your way? Do I just think, “Oh, well, this isn’t about me,” and let it pass? Not my style.
“When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on…don’t waste your time trying to educate or change opinions.”
I think Fey means pick your battles carefully, as opposed to don’t help others. In other words, if someone is annoying but not a concrete problem, move on. Your overall influence will be greater if you move ahead, so get on with it.
Pick your battles, sure, but I’ll take it one step further: you can’t save everyone. One of the reasons women don’t get as far as men is because they’ve been socialized to put the needs or troubles of everyone else over their goals. So I’d say that yes, it’s going to be necessary to turn a blind eye to some injustices that don’t directly effect you. Not all of them, to be sure, but you can’t react every time you see injustice, or you will have no energy left for your own fights.
That’s my interpretation, mind you, and not what Tina Fey said explicitly. But you don’t see her constantly out marching at rallies, you know what I mean?
WoPro!
Or should I say WhoaPro!
Holy shizz! She goes on break and returns with a whole new look! Way to go, woman!
I’ve missed you.
Oh, how I’ve missed you.
Tina is on my night table. (I have her tied there. She kind of likes it.) Anyway, I’m glad you are back, and I’m sorry this is not more academic, but I’ve been writing for hours. I’m just glad you’re back! (*doin’ a little dance)
No, never mind academic, away with that. To some extent, anyway….I’ll continue to have an opinion, to be sure, but glad you’re back too!
Loved this post! Thanks to Mel for the heads-up. I totally hear you on the OMG feminists, and I agree that they can take their outrage and do something with it, but they often need a lot of encouragement and guidance to do that.
I just finished this book, too, and while I didn’t agree with all of it, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s rare that I laugh out loud repeatedly while reading a book. (More often, sad to say, I’m like, “OMG!”)
I could write a whole post on OMG femisnism because unfortunately, many of the leading public figures practice it. It’s just so…useless. It’s like the woman I had in a class who said “OMG, the Romans totally oppressed everyone and I just think that’s wrong!” Well, yeah, but…so what?
Timing punches… so true.
And a great skill to learn.