Dear Rick,
As a PhD in Texas, I’m volunteering for your ten-thousand-dollar degree program. Finally, I’ll be able to make the six figures that will qualify me to vote and mean it!
In accordance with your no-frills standards, I’ll conduct class on my futon. Some hanky-panky might ensue (those kids and their schoolboy crushes) but there’ll be no gay stuff or supervising admins so I assume that’s okay. At the end of class we’ll calligraphy up a real special looking degree by hand. It’s so much more personal that way, don’t you think?
I’m also game for your online university — the last thing students need is someone trying to get up in their faces and encourage them in person. When the tiny number of tuition-covered teaching hours run out, an “Access Denied” screen will appear. Of course there won’t be any staff to explain what’s going on, so the students will learn a valuable”real life” lesson about limited resources!
I’m sure you’ll understand that, just as your sudden interest in education has nothing to do with your “profitability studies”, my sudden interest in teaching about the separation of church and state, the actual meaning of “conservative”, and the economic difference between cost and value, has absolutely nothing to do with your political record.
Hugs and Kisses,
Amanda Krauss, PhD
PS I know you’ll totally be on board with requiring all men to undergo mandatory, non-sedated colonscopies to ensure that they really understand the decisions they’re making about their colonic health.
PPS How right was I??? Here’s Rick Perry’s A&M transcript.
As a teacher in Texas, I find myself annoyed at Rick Perry almost every day. I’m fairly certain that he hates education with every fiber of his being…I just don’t know why.
I feel that way about a lot of politicians, that they are simply out on a personal vendetta against education. I assume there’s some childhood trauma at the root of it — maybe they never got over a bad grade they received or a teacher who was mean to them or something? I can’t think of any other explanation for it…and you know, I’m pretty damned anti-authoritarian but I think working out your childhood issues on taxpayers’ time is inexcusable.
You’re my new hero. This is fantastic.
Not necessarily mean to them – but I think a lot of people had a shitty teacher as a kid and didn’t realize at the time. For example, I had a social studies teacher when I was younger whose idea of teaching us about ancient Rome was putting on a movie and falling asleep as he read the sports section. Every. Day. Which was fine at the time, because I could chat with my friends, do other homework, write stories, whatever – and then read the textbook and get an A because he used book tests and gave everybody extra credit for answering trivia questions. Now, there are people who are crappy at every job, but kids, unlike adults, usually don’t know when they’re being had, so I can understand people feeling that they have to stick up for those kids. Additionally, academics, as you’ve mentioned many times, often aren’t good at connecting with ordinary people. They’re alienating enough without any help from politicians, so it’s pretty easy for even an inept politician to convince people that professors live in their own world and don’t care about people who aren’t professors. And every politician needs a bad guy.
By the way, I totally want in on the make-your-own diploma business. Mine’s in Latin, and I can’t read it. Luckily the university gave me a handy translation. I’ll bring my own calligraphy pen.
I still think you’re giving them a tad too much credit. You’re right, we’ve all had bad/lazy teachers, but the scenario I’m suggesting is more insidious: what I imagine is that these guys just weren’t the brightest bulbs in the class, and never some got over big-headed educator giving them the mediocre or low grades they actually deserved. I can’t tell you why, exactly, but I sense that they’re nursing a very specific moment of impotent rage that couldn’t come from just being poorly taught — ’cause if it were just the lazy teachers, you know these are the kids who would be have been happy throwing spitballs for the whole hour. (Several hours later) And oh, yes, how right I was: here’s the bastard’s transcript.
What’s telling are Perry’s specific grades in courses including US History and Principles of Economics. Given this record it is not surprising the outcome, ie., “Texas should secede from the US”, “Texas is in great economic shape” ($21-27 billion budget shortfall). What is also telling is that there is no improvement over time in his academic performance. It is not surprising that a student may struggle as he/she adjusts to university life but it seems reasonable to expect an improvement at some point. I think it’s okay to expect a higher level of academic performance and also a good deal of intellectual curiosity when it comes to running something as complex as a government (even a state government). That’s not elitist.
Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about this one, because teachers of all people are the first to recognize that grades don’t mean everything. What bugs me more is the absolute pride that people like Perry and Palin take in not being the brightest bulbs — because of course book learnin’ can’t compete with “common sense”. Sadly, I think think is exactly why they are so popular; anti-intellectualism is just getting cooler. And even while I think intellectuals have done their part to make that happen, why is this extreme our only other option?
Spot on. Can’t understand the seeming viciousness against “book learning”. As a society we need both common sense and “book learning”. Many of the wonderful tech advances people enjoy came about as the result of someone slaving away in a research lab in a university somewhere. And many inventions were born out of everyday people employing their common sense. There’s room for all.
Texas has added nearly 4 times more new private sector jobs than all other states combined since 2006. Texas does not have a budget shortfall. It has a balanced budget without raising taxes, plus more than 6 billion in a Rainy Day Fund. Try to pay attention on that one.
Well, at least we can both agree that it’s great fun to lie with statistics — and so much easier than taking on the complicated reality of how governments work.
Oh Charlie Beta,
Now that the spartan Texas budget will take effect as of 9/1, raise a nice glass of champagne to the fact that Texas children will get a mere $4 billion (that’s with a b) cut in their schools. Toast to the fact that many of those programs that help the least of these (elderly and mentally ill)will end up being cut. And perhaps YOU need to pay attention a little bit more. Now put down your champagne flute and read the following:
http://www.texastribune.org/texas-taxes/2011-budget-shortfall/about/
Hey. Crap happens. But all we Texans heard during the 2010 campaign was how great the fiscal situation was in Texas. We all realize that all the states’ economies have taken a hit, but we were led to believe that everything was just fine.
And finally, with Texas schools taking such a huge hit in this biennium and probably in those to come, companies requiring a well-educated workforce will eventually have to think twice about locating here. There have been many articles including the following that show that even business leaders are concerned about these cuts in education funding. http://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/texas-legislature/headlines/20110602-cutting-texas-education-spending-poses-economic-risks-business-leaders-say.ece
How do you spell success?
Rick Perry is an embarrassment to his alma mater, and needs to keep his meticulously-coiffed head out of higher education. While I’ll grant that parts of the educational system are broken and in dire need of repair, turning universities into lifeless degree mills that don’t actually foster creativity and intellectual growth, much less reward educators who nurture such ideas (because what value does creativity and intellectual growth have in the real world, anyway?) is not the way to do it.
The schools in Texas have been working against the generic “redneck stereotype” forever, and if Perry has his way, he will put us right back in that niche, killing off the curiosity, love of learning, and enterprising spirit that makes Texas-educated entrepreneurs so great…traits that can’t be obtained by simply filling in Scantron bubbles for a couple of years after high school.
I suspect whatever brain Perry had has vacated the premises to make room for more hair.
(Sorry if my comment came off as a little bitter…as an A&M graduate, I get reminded/blamed by my friends in other schools that Perry graduated from A&M…as if it makes it A&M’s fault that he’s pulling this stunt.)
No, I totally get it, it’s a bummer when someone from your alma mater is a very public embarrassment. It makes me doubly incredulous that (I presume) he used his A&M connections to do his initial “how profitable is each prof” study — and then he has the gall to turn around and suggest that this cockamamie plan is student-driven? When being as profitable as possible inevitably means cramming as many students in a class as possible, then minimizing the time spent on each? Or, actually, as the study actually showed, just giving up on the students altogether and focusing on the kind of research that attracts large corporate investors? See, now you’ve got me going…
Your presumption is correct. The College of Liberal Arts is the 3rd largest college in the university, but so many people (mostly Perry-fans on the Board of Trustees) still want/choose to believe that A&M is only a vet / agriculture / engineering school. Several of my favorite professors — who were good professors, and without whom I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today — have retired in frustration thanks to Perry’s witch-hunt.
When “reforms” lead to fantastic, tenured-track professors voluntarily leaving…despite loving their job, and loving their interaction with college students…that’s a sign that you’re not doing it right.
(Also, I was completely not surprised by Perry’s transcript. It appears that he barely spent enough time or energy in the classroom to learn anything…which has apparently allowed him to lead a prestigious career as governor.)
Furthermore, he would have gotten a solid C average in the Liberal Arts. C’s in both History of the US classes? D in Shakespeare? C in Public Speaking? (This explains a lot.)
Snorted wine out my nose reading the PS. Thanks. That’s how every weekend should start.
Snorted liquids are the finest praise a would-be satirist can hope for. I’m starting my weekend with ice-cold hard cider, because it’s damned hot here. But most likely to a similar effect.
The following Rick Perry story also made me snort some liquid: http://gawker.com/5828133/rick-perry-was-a-horrible-college-student.
Not sure if you’ve seen this yet – from our friends in Chile. http://fuckyeahprotest.tumblr.com/
Some politicians hate education because their power lies in their ability to fool most of the people most of the time, and the less the people are educated, the easier this is.
Yes, I agree, George Carlin had it right on this one!