FAQ
Yes, I really did get a lot of email in the first year of this blog, and a lot of people asked the same questions over and over again. So I’ll start with the two most common ones I got:
Q: How did you make your decision to leave? How did you tell people, and how did they respond?
The funny thing is, it hardly felt like making a decision because I must have thought “I’ve gotta get out of here!!” about a million times. It didn’t become real until I marched into my Chair’s office and told her I wasn’t coming back next year. It wasn’t hard, because I literally thought I was going to die if I didn’t leave. Ironically, being miserable made it really easy.
I told people how happy I was with my decision, and how excited I was to get to choose where I lived (you don’t, in academia) and how thrilled I was to be moving back to Austin. That way, they looked like assholes if they were anything less than happy for me. Though I did get a few passive-aggressive remarks (“At least we have jobs!”), most of my colleagues were wonderful, supportive people who were actually happy for me. (Warning: This is not always the case. I’ve seen people announce they were leaving academia and get blindsided by colleagues who were clearly jealous and/or upset at being forced to re-think the value of what they were doing.)
Q: Should I go to grad school?
No, you should not. End of story. Do not get an MBA. Do not get a PhD. Do not go to law school. Do not pass Go. You will be wasting your money because there are already too many people with too many credentials. So unless you like the idea of the university using you as an angel investor (at best) or cheap labor (at worst), save your money.
Yes, I know, you think you are a special case, and that you are more driven than anyone else and you’ll work extra-hard to be successful and that has to pay off, right? Wrong. And please, I’m begging you, go ask someone over thirty what it feels like, because you won’t always have the energy and drive you have now. Seriously, use it for something else.
Q: What are you doing to make money?
Frankly, that’s none of your business. But it’s web design, development and other business-y stuff. When people ask this question I think they really want a pre-made plan for how to leave their job, with some guarantee of a great life ahead, and no risks. Well, that’s not going to happen. There’s no such thing as no-risk, and anyone who studies history or literature should know that already.
Q: Should I leave my teaching/professoring/adjunct job I hate?
I honestly don’t know. I don’t know your situation. But you’re probably asking me this because you want to leave your job and are looking for permission. If you’re giving yourself excuses, I’d suggest reading Penelope Trunk’s post on why you need to either leave or stop whining.
Q: Hey, you say you hated teaching but you sound like you’re still invested in edu-ma-cation – what gives?
Look, I still believe in the value of learning. I just think the current system is irreparably screwed and isn’t capable of supporting it. Also, I was good teacher — as long as I could do things my way.
Q: Isn’t being a professor a totally cushy job where you make six figures and sit on your ass reading Proust all day?
Absolutely not. Forget everything you’ve ever seen on television. Most academics I know are killing themselves for less than $10/hr if you calculate the hours honestly, and many places are actually lowering salaries via freezes and furloughs. Also, law school and B-school salaries do not count. They’re competing with private industry.
It’s true that some folks are doing pretty well for themselves. Older, already-tenured profs got in before the pay started falling below inflation (and that was years ago), when jobs were more plentiful and the requirements were less stringent. But that lifestyle is a relic of the past and no one should go in expecting it now. Though if you’re a trust fund baby (the traditional way to be a professor for centuries) you can disregard all of this.
Q: Isn’t the education problem entirely the fault of those lazy teachers and their greedy unions?
Nope. Today’s students are terrible and the parents are worse. Putting students in charge of education is exactly wrong, and the general message is that teachers don’t have any authority to lead and their skills aren’t worth paying for. At this point I just tell people not to become teachers unless they’re for a job without respect, money, or job security.
Q: You can’t possibly be the worst professor that ever existed. Why do you call yourself that?
It’s part of a little phenomenon I like to call humor. Humor often involves glib generalizations, sweeping exaggerations, and outright lies. There’s also the fact that every cool person I knew in academia was made to feel like they were the worst professor ever. That’s another way to get people to laugh: say out loud what they’ve been thinking. Also, it’s just good branding to pick something easy to remember.